Full disclosure: right before I sat down to write this post, I was engaging in a rare bout of Facebook stalking. It's probably my least favorite activity ever, but you know when you just can't quite seem to stop scrolling through someone's photos? Your ex or your long-lost friend or your current crush; you just have to know what they're doing and who's in their pictures. I know full well that this activity does not make me happy. And yet once in a while, I'll fall down the ol' rabbit hole.
Thankfully I'm better now at noticing how it makes me feel, and closing out of Facebook faster. I need the Tarot, I thought after logging out. Something to connect me back to myself.
And, right on time, the Tarot delivered, with the Nine of Pentacles reversed. The Nine of Pentacles is all about enjoying your abundance and the fruits of your labor. The card shows a woman standing alone in a rich garden, peaceful and luxurious. Sounds nice, right? However, because the card was reversed, it means this energy is present but may be blocked or modified. Reversed, this card can mean envy of other peoples' riches. It suggests that we've forgotten that we are already in our own garden of abundance. So we start to look at other peoples' gardens (read: Facebook photos, Instagram feeds, etc.) and measure ourselves up to them. We all know this is a waste of time and a losing battle, but we still get stuck in it now and again. That's okay-- it's inevitable, in this age of social media craziness. The important part is whether you can recognize when it's making you unhappy, and pull yourself away from it.
Another important aspect of this card is the woman's solitude. According to Jessa Crispin in her fantastic book The Creative Tarot, nines are largely about our solitary nature. Notice that the woman on the card is completely alone, and totally at peace. She's not peering over the trees to look at other peoples' gardens, and she's not texting her friends to come over. This card is a reminder that we must connect to our own inner richness, that unique place inside of us that feels like home. The place we can't ever show in pictures or on social media. We love to show moments in our lives to everyone we know. Trust me, I find Instagram super fun. But we have to separate those pictures we choose to share from the moments that we choose to truly be alone, and be totally full in our aloneness. That way, we always have a safe place to go back to, a place within ourselves.
It reminds me of a lyric from one of my favorite Angel Olsen songs, "You are Song": I just go for a walk in my mind/ and the light can be found. That's the card's message to us this week: Go for a walk inside your own mind. Find your own inner sanctuary, your own garden like the one on the card. When you find that place to be fully alone, you can appreciate what it is you have, and the envy of other people dissolves away.
Feeling whole and at home in ourselves is not conducive to envy. Craning our necks to look at other peoples' perfectly curated gardens-- only that is conducive to envy.
So this week, let's celebrate the richness of our solitude. It's a great week for: taking a long walk by yourself, making a gratitude list, taking a hiatus from all social media, turning off your phone, going outside, discovering a quiet new spot to sit, meditate, read, etc. Tune in to how these activities make you feel.
Sneaky little cards! Always giving me the message I need to hear...
Have a lovely week, goddesses! xo