Growing up, most girls are trained to hierarchize love. Romantic love is at the very top; platonic love is lumped in at the bottom. More and more, I'm striving to treat every love in my life with equal doses of energy and compassion and care. Because my girlfriends (and childhood guy friend) have seen me through everything. The first kisses. The devastating break-ups. The creative catalysts. The writers' blocks. I've never dated a guy that was my soul mate. But each and every one of my close girlfriends is most definitely my soul mate. We hold the space for each other to mess up, to be silly, to grow succulent and spacious.
Living so far from my soul mates isn't always easy. I've really craved good quality girl time the last few months. I wish I could cook with Abby, dance with Lily, collage with Nicole, hike with Rebecca. I think about jamming at a concert in Petaluma with Alexa and swimming into the New Orleans night with Alison. I want to bring that sense of freedom, of loving and feeling loved, into my day-to-day life. With my girlfriends, I am always sure I am enough.
Just yesterday, I received some news that knocked me off balance. As soon as I texted Lily, she was with it (not always easy when the best I can do is type UGH). I ended up getting on the phone with her and Alison, both cozied up in rainy Maine for Al's birthday, and they talked me through the initial upset toward a place of gentle loving goodness. This is the beauty of best friendship. We reflected on what was going on (a minor hiccup, really) and what to do next (nothing) and how to best treat myself that afternoon (um, juice). Our conversation made me feel loved in a moment when the memory of someone who had hurt me deeply bubbled back, unwanted, to the surface.
It's easy to take our best friends for granted as we would our family. To some extent, that's okay. When a friend is high on honeymoon love, knee-deep in a new job, infatuated with a fresh creative project, she get's a total pass. But every now and again—maybe once a week, maybe with each new moon—I think it's a heart-healing practice to throw some serious love our friends' ways.
So to my soul mates (and you know who you are) thanks for being the ONE(S). Thank you for your badassery and beauty, for your openheartedness and mindful spirit. Thanks for showing up and doing the hard work of being a good friend. Thanks for letting me be whole. Thanks for listening to me talk about my period ALL THE TIME (every month is a new surprise!) Thanks for motivating me to embrace micro movements, to see the world as if I were a little love bug sitting on a branch, soaking up the sun.
And remember, as Lily told me during my bimonthly mermaid tarot card reading (YES I KNOW) that you're a queen. I haven't yet seen that golden life advice imprinted on a tea bag so sharing that one with you all now.