The Shapes We Mae

TO-DO: Tell Someone You Love That You Love Them

Friends & LoversKate WeinerComment

This week, I've been plagued by moments of "ummm...am I a good person?" Several conversations brought up some past hurt and I found myself falling back into the tired habit of internalizing the intensity to which my ex has frozen me out. I love myself—and am forgiving of myself—even though (or maybe especially because) I'm deeply flawed. But in spite of the love I feel for myself, I wondered if how my ex was treating me was a reflection of who I really am: unworthy and unlovable. Those little pernicious thoughts kept popping up as I hung out with friends and danced at concerts and pursued romantic connections.

And then, out of the blue, three friends sent me messages to tell me how grateful they were to have me in this world and how much love they were sending my way. Those little buds of simple kindness, of dammit, I'm a feeling, breathing, loving person and I don't care who knows softened the hurt in this old heart of mine. It's important to know on your own that you are basically good and inherently worthy—because you are. But that doesn't mean it doesn't feel nice when someone you care about lets you know it.

In celebration of my amazing friends who make me feel loved and who I hope know how much I love them, take a little time over the next few days to send some buds of simple kindness their way. Everyone likes to hear they are awesome just the way they are.