I don't know what's been up lately, but I've been super into moisturizing.
Crazy, right? For me, though, it's a definite departure from my bare bones-short showers-make-up free beauty routine. I mean, I'm still taking short showers (I live in a drought) and I'm still not wearing make-up (I like natural on me) but I do keep trying all the free sample serums at the co-op and gushing over red clay masks. Last night, wracked with dark-of-night anxieties, I researched hydrating oils to soothe my frazzled mind. I suddenly want to balance my internal pH or whatever and make my own facial scrub.
And I am being very judgmental about it.
Like so many things we are socialized to loathe in ourselves, I sure as hell wouldn't judge a friend for taking the time to sink into a soothing bath or splurge on a happy-making beauty balm. In spite of this, when I bought a not-so-dirt-cheap exfoliating mask today, I worked myself into a lather (pun INTENDED) justifying it. Well, I've been working really hard lately and I have been having difficulty sleeping and this will calm me and on and on an on. I struggled to accept that I bought it purely because I wanted to indulge myself. I couldn't just say hey! I got this because I feel like feeling good! and get on with it. I needed a better reason.
I don't extend this same judgment to other aspects of my self-care routine. I don't judge myself for doing yoga or spending hours cooking up a delicious meal for friends. I celebrate these experiences. But today's splurge made me realize that maybe, my judgement about "beauty" is because it's not a "shared" experience (and both yoga and cooking are definitely that). I worried that taking stock in my appearance meant I was superficial, shallow.
We have this belief that making time for self-care is selfish or a last-place priority or unproductive. We're afraid that if we love how we look, if we relish in what we are, we will lose sight of what matters most. But making time for self-care is vital. Self-care gives you the space to tend to the wild garden that is you (can you tell that I've been in the co-op for way too long?) It's an opportunity to hone in on what nourishes you and bring that caring spirit out into the world.
Enjoy growing gorgeous. Enjoy what makes you feel good. It doesn't have to be charcoal soap or a bubble bath because I know that for myself, my three-mile walk to compost the week's food scraps is one of my juiciest moments of self-care. Give yourself permission to find what fills you whole and be filled. And have fun with it.
Because fun is okay too. Self-care can be spiritual and silly (the best experiences usually are). And with that, I'm going to pour myself a big bowl of Choco-Chimps and put on my rosehip oil facial mask. Life is good.