The Shapes We Mae

AND I GOT ZERO CHILL IN ME

Inner Goddess, The Feminist's BookshelfLily MyersComment

**edit**: okay, yes, I misheard the lyrics. Nicki actually says "I give zero fucks/ and I got zero chill in me". BUT THE POINT REMAINS. And I like my version better.

Okay, so I've been listening to a lot of top 40 recently (and loving it). Ariana Grande's "Side to Side" keeps coming on the radio, and I'm obsessed with this one line that Nicki Minaj spits: "I give several fucks/ and I got zero chill in me." I grin like a fool every time I hear it. It's so freakin' refreshing, after all the chill-girl tropes and the pressure to act like we don't care at all. We do care. Or I do, anyway. And it's affirming as hell to see one of the baddest girls out there come out and say it.

Obviously, I'm a huge fan of the ever-useful phrase, I DGAF. And sometimes I really DGAF. But it's actually super empowering to figure out which situations you DO care about, and to own those. To identify that yes, this is a person/relationship/thing that I actually care about, and I'm going to affirm that. It's like way back in the first episode of SWM: the podcast, "The Myth of the Chill Girl," where Kate and I freaked out over our new motto "It's cool to care!" That's basically what Nicki is saying in this song. It's cool to care. And I love that. 

It's also going perfectly with the super-fun book I'm reading now, "How to be a Bad Bitch" by Amber Rose. I just couldn't resist picking it up after I saw the cover. I mean, could you?

This book is so much fun. The whole thing consists of mogul and icon Amber Rose giving women advice on how to be the baddest bitch possible in all areas of our lives: dating, friends, style, career, money, etc. I love this idea, of the badass woman who knows her worth and is in control of all areas of her life. It's just like the Queen archetype in Tarot-- my favorite!!! It's the archetype of the woman who knows herself, loves herself, and makes a life for herself that she loves. And guess what? You can't get there without giving several fucks. You can't get there without caring. Rose always advocates speaking up for yourself and standing up for what you believe in-- most importantly, your own self-worth. Not very chill-girl behavior.

A bad bitch is the mistress of her reality.
— Amber Rose, "How to be a Bad Bitch"

So I'm past the idea of chill-girl. My new favorite archetype is the bad bitch, who gives several fucks. I am all about getting in touch with our own power. And when we pretend to be chill, we're actually giving away that power. As Rose puts it at the beginning of the book, "A bad bitch is the mistress of her reality." I absolutely love this definition, because it's pretty much how I define being a witch, too: being aware that you are in charge of your experience, and that you influence your world. So let go of the chill, ladies. What do you GAF about? How will you claim your power and create your reality?

NEED MORE POWER? READ ON:

SWM PODCAST 11: POWER TO THE PUSSY 

HERE'S TO STRANGE AND NASTY WOMEN 

DISCOVERING THE DIVINE FEMININE (AND MY OWN POWER)