The Shapes We Mae


Inner GoddessLily MyersComment

I've been obsessed with a few tracks from Banks' new album lately. (Check her out if you don't know her; she's got awesome, empowered, dance-ready tracks). My favorite so far is "F**k With Myself". It's such an unapologetic, in-your-face declaration of that amazing feeling of YEAH, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH MYSELF, I'M AWESOME, AND I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE TO AFFIRM THAT. Um, yeah. So vital.

That feeling of I love hanging out with myself is one of the best feelings ever. And it really comes in handy when you need it. Newly single, I found myself at first searching for outside affirmation of my own coolness/attractiveness/whatever. But the more I listen to Banks, the more I'm like, Oh wait! I already f**k with myself hardcore. I already love myself. I happen to think I'm super cool. So I don't need to go searching for someone else to tell me that.

It's also such a declaration of self-love; as Banks sings, "Cause I f**k with myself more than anybody else/ it's all love". The "it's all love" lyric is crucial. It means she's not talking about a one-dimensional egotistical "I'm amazing" thing; instead, it's an actual self-love "I love myself through the difficult times" thing. It's about actual affection for oneself.

Do you ever talk to yourself in the second person? It can be strangely comforting. If I'm having a rough day, or doubting myself, I can sort of step outside of myself and talk, like "Hey, Lily. Don't worry, girl. You're trying your best, and you're doing a really good job," or whatever it may be. If you think of yourself as your best friend, as yourself in a relationship with yourself, you can talk yourself through good times and bad. Like, "hey, self, we've been through so much together. I won't abandon you now."

I think that's why I love this song so much. It's about the most important relationship in your life; the one with yourself. It's a celebration of self-love. A recognition that you'll always be there with yourself. Plus, it's totally danceable. I recommend cranking up the speakers and dancing in the mirror. It's all love...