The Shapes We Mae

WISE WOMEN: OR WHY YOUR NEXT BFF SHOULD BE 50+

Friends & LoversKate WeinerComment

A couple weeks ago, I had a bit of a breakdown at work. As in: I arrived at the farm where I'm an intern, immediately sat down in the tool shed, and sobbed into my sleeve for a good hour about my landlady. I realized that I'd had enough. I felt taken advantage of and uncomfortable in my housing situation. I hated going home.

My farm manager graciously let me spend the morning meandering around the surrounding streets so that I could collect my thoughts and take time to breathe. When I returned to the farm, a new volunteer was already at work. Linda was genuine and tough and passionate about her point of view without downplaying my own. She was just the person that I needed to meet that day. Later, she sat with me in the summer night and we laughed at our shitty home situations (we both sought sanctuary in the local Whole Foods when things got too weird at our houses) and made plans to hang out later that week. That Linda was in her early fifties wasn't an issue. As I've come to learn, having older female friends is a real blessing. We can learn SO much from women who've already been where we are now. 

I've shared a lovely sushi supper with my friend's mother. We gossiped and ate too much; we did just what I do with girlfriends my own age. Once, in Seattle with Lily, we had a delightful dinner and nighttime hot tub soak with her older family friends. Intergenerational friendships give you perspective and a sense of where you want to go in life.

Accept that friendship can take many different shapes. Embrace new relationships. You are a young woman with so much to share and give and love--and sometimes, that means finding a muse to guide you through the process of growing up and out into the world.